In half a minute he's back from the bathroom with clean hands, which he uses to roll back the sliding panels covering the LCD screen on the wall at the foot of the bed. A bit of cajoling the virtual keyboard, and—Sherlock and Tony are on the screen, standing in the hallway just outside this very room.

"I don't get it."

"My dear Stark, your obliviousness never fails to astound me."

"Well why don't you just tell me what the hell you're talking ab—"

At this point Sherlock pushes Tony up against the wall and kisses him.

The real, live, present Sherlock glances sidelong at Kite, utterly failing to look the slightest bit innocent.